Self Doubt

It is truly amazing how fast self doubt creeps in when you are a mom. I am constantly asking myself "is this the right thing to do" and "Am I screwing up here?" As much as I tell myself to just relax it just sneaks in.

I keep thinking that when the boys can start talking I will feel better. They can tell me what is wrong, what they want and what they do not. Although deep down I know that won't be the case. There will always be that little voice in the back of my head saying..."are you sure??"

Last night after a very stressful day and constant wondering if I was doing what I should as a parent I decided to take today as it came, no "parenting", no worrying, and no questioning myself. So I did, when Tristen started to cry because he wanted to go out instead of take a nap, we went out side. When Connor cried because he just wanted to be held I sat and held him. When Connor was screaming when I was trying to feed him I stopped and let him go to sleep. It was a nice break of the constant worry and questioning.

I know that if the boys are tired they will sleep, if they are hungry they will eat and to just live in the moment with them. Instead of trying to constantly teach them how to sleep, eat and act. I think sometimes I over parent, trying to mold them into "good" children instead of just letting them be...children.

So I am going to vow to take each day as it comes, treasure the moments and try my best to not let that sneaky self doubt creep in.