Mommy Bootcamp: Terrible twos

So as we fastly approach the terrible twos I am learning how to parent through the tantrums, crying , lack of communication and endless screaming. There are a few things I am learning on the fly and a few things fellow mommies have helped me with.

One thing I must first say is EVERY CHILD is different and what works for one does not always work for the other. Too many parents judge one another and act like the way they parent is the only way...which is far from the truth. There are also too many parents that feel like a failure when a fellow parents suggestion does not work. So if what you are doing now does not work, try something new but do not think that you are a failure...you are not! It's like the saying "try...try and then try again".

So as I begin to parent a toddler and specifically a toddler going through the "terrible twos" I am learning along with my child. I feel like I am in Mommy bootcamp and each day is something new and challenging. One of the things I am learning on the fly is to pick and choose my battles. My toddler cannot begin to understand all the things I want him to. So I am picking and choosing what things to give in on and what things not to.

For example because of this whole bed bug issue the boys cannot sleep in their own rooms. Connor goes to bed about an hour before Tristen so he is fast asleep when Tristen wants to take his bath before bed. The issue is the bathroom is right next to where Connor is sleeping so to prevent Connor from waking up during Tristen bath we thought we would just give Tristen a bath in the downstairs tub...well Tristen acted like it was the worst thing on the entire planet and a HUGE tantrum ensued. I started to think is it really worth it to calm him down, explain to him that this is the only way and have him cry through the bath...no it was not. So I chose not to fight this one, if Connor wakes up he wakes up. In the end Connor did not wake up, Tristen had a fun bath and is now fast asleep!

A battle I will fight is hitting...period. We give a warning and explain to Tristen that hitting hurts and is not acceptable. If he continues...which he usually does he goes into time out for a minute and then he must say (show) he is sorry and we explain again hitting is not acceptable. Or screaming and crying when he does not get his way. I fully understand that the terrible twos have more to do with not being able to communicate than anything else. So I am patient through the screaming, have him tell me what he wants or point to what it is and most of the time it is something he can have. What I want to teach him is if he can calmly ask for what he wants he can have it. I figure by the time he can do that I can then explain if it is something he cannot and give him another option.

A suggestion I got from a fellow mommy is to divert his attention. One thing that works like a charm in a middle of a major melt down is to go outside and play. I am lucky enough to have a nice little backyard that he can run off that energy in. Usually after 30-60 minutes in the yard he is ready for a nice long nap. This strategy is good for the both of us. It can be sooo very stressful just sitting inside listening to a screaming kid, but getting outside in the beautiful California weather refreshes both of us and helps me stay focused on my wonderful child than getting caught up in the "terrible" twos.

It's funny because as soon as I think I have this Mommy thing down my kids throw me for a loop. I have learned in Mommy bootcamp never to get to comfortable, be patient, take time to marvel in the beauty of my children no matter what and to relax!