Things I never want to forget Part 2

So when I saw a fellow blogger/friend do this I thought this would be a great addition to my blog. It is a list of all the things I never want to forget. It helps remind me of all the precious things my boys do.

1. I never want to forget how sweet a baby smells.
2. I never want to forget how cute Tristen looks when he is mad.
3. I never want to forget how cute giggles are.
4. I never want to forget the feeling of baby skin.
5. I never want to forget how much fun my kids have in the bathtub.
6. I never want to forget the look in Connors eyes as he is eating.
7. I never want to forget how precious my boys look when they are sleeping.
8. I never want to forget how excited Tristen gets when Shane comes home from work.
9. I never want to forget how special Tristen feels when he gets one on one attention.
10. I never want to forget how happy Tristen gets when we play outside.
11. I never want to forget the biggest smiles when Connor sees me in the morning.
12. I never want to forget how blessed I am to be the mom of two perfect little boys and how happy they make me.

A little Boogie

I think one of the funniest things Tristen has done recently is dance. It is just so much fun watching him learn to dance. It is really funny to watch him trying to find the rhythm and feeling out the beat. He dances with all his body and really "feels" the music. He always has such a HUGE smile on his face when he does it. So I thought today maybe I should dance like he does. So I let loose, didn't care what I looked like, if I was on rhythm or beat and just moved.  Before I knew it I had a HUGE smile on my face and Tristen was just looking at me with such love I started to tear up.

It is moments like these that I just love being a mommy. Brings to life the saying live...laugh... love!

Education

I was pretty impressed with some of the remarks President Obama made during his State of the Nation speech about Education. I am not a political person, I never state what side I am on or who I voted for. So this is not an opportunity to tell me how much you hate Obama or whatever. If you can argue what he says about Education is wrong I dare you.

Anyway... I was pretty inspired and impressed by the below comments and it got me thinking about how many people do not think about the Education system and their parental duty to it.

Obama stated "so the question is whether all of us – as citizens, and as parents – are willing to do what’s necessary to give every child a chance to succeed. That responsibility begins not in our classrooms, but in our homes and communities. It’s family that first instills the love of learning in a child. Only parents can make sure the TV is turned off and homework gets done. We need to teach our kids that it’s not just the winner of the Super Bowl who deserves to be celebrated, but the winner of the science fair; that success is not a function of fame or PR, but of hard work and discipline." This rang so true to me. I am scared for what type of school my child gets into but that is only half the battle. It is up to my husband and I to put the focus on learning. To get involved in the process and to push my boys harder than the school does.

He also stated "Let’s also remember that after parents, the biggest impact on a child’s success comes from the man or woman at the front of the classroom. In South Korea, teachers are known as “nation builders.” Here in America, it’s time we treated the people who educate our children with the same level of respect. We want to reward good teachers and stop making excuses for bad ones." It is sad to me that entertainers, the Jersey Shore drunks and the girls of "Teen Mom" make more money than our Teachers who are educating the future of the United States. It has always seemed so backwards to me.

I know it is not some simple fix and there is SO much politics involved behind our education system but I hope that all of us parents truly step up and can make a change for our child's sake!

Pretend Play

Tristen got his kitchen yesterday. He was so excited he kept screaming and running around. He opened all the doors, pulled out all the utensils, plates and then sat there and looked at me as to say "Now what". I didn't even think about it but he had not "pretend played" yet. All of his toys make noise, move or roll. He looked for the noise buttons, tried to turn on the pretend faucet and tried to make a phone call on the pretend phone. He started to get frustrated so I sat down and "cooked" for him, drank out of the cups and put "dinner" in the oven. I did not realize I had to teach him how to "pretend play".

I started to think with all of these toys out there today are we helping or hurting children's growth and development. I wonder how many parents buy these toys to entertain their child so they do not have to. I will admit when I have to cook dinner or make lunch having those type of toys around is like having an extra set of hands but I do not rely on them to entertain my child all day.

Something I also noticed is on the toys and flash cards I recently purchased they have instructions for parents on how to play with their child with them. On the flash card the front has a picture of something and the back has a list of questions for the parents to ask their child. Is this really necessary? Do people not know how to play, entertain and educate their children. I get having ideas on things to do in the day because you can easily get into a rut but do people not know how to interact with their children any more.  To me it is common sense to count the butterflies, go over the shapes and colors  and talk about the object.

I think we often forget that everything is a learning opportunity to our children. Everything is new and exciting and we should relish in that instead of see it as a burden.

What a laugh can do



I think one of the most amazing things about being a mom is making our children laugh. It can turn my horrible day around in that one little giggle. It can bring me to tears to see how happy I can make my kids. I live and die to make them smile and laugh. I have moments when I feel like I am about to crack and one of the boys will give out a big ole' laugh and all that frustration and stress just melts away.

Tristen can be pushing my every button and when I am about to blow he looks up and will smile or laugh and as much as I want to fight it and stay mad I cannot help but laugh along with him.

As I look back at my life laughter has gotten me through almost everything. During Elementary school I used to get teased endlessly and instead of hiding I would laugh along with them. Eventually those kids gave up and moved on to someone else. Come Jr. High I found people who appreciated my humor and most of which I am still really close to. I also married my Jr. High boyfriend, but that is a whole different story. In High School my humor is what I think people remember me for, good and bad. I was able to laugh at myself when I attempted to play basketball and continued to play all 4 years because I enjoyed it and without being able to laugh at my mistakes I doubt I would have continued.

To this day when something gets too sad, too uncomfortable or when I am trying to cheer someone up I turn to humor. The power of laughter is just amazing. So I will leave you with a few of my favorite jokes. All are clean and I have learned all of them from kids. They maybe dumb but I challenge you not to laugh or at least smile at them :)

Q: What does the fish say when he hits concrete?
A: Dam

Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it.

Q. What do you call a Fish with no eyes?
A: FSHHHH

Laughing yet?!?!?!

Biggest Challenge

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.Martin Luther King, Jr.
When I made the decision to start breastfeeding I did not realize what a challenge it would be. With Tristen I supplemented with formula to try and help him sleep better, which did not work. Then we went on vacation and I was too embarrassed to feed in front of people so I kept giving formula bottles and not pumping. By the time I got home my milk was almost gone. I tried pumping and feeding all day and it just was not coming back so I gave up and we fed Tristen formula. Although I felt horrible about it, it was nice to know how much he was eating and Shane could help. I guess you can say I kinda got spoiled by it.

This time around I was determined not to make the same mistakes. We supplemented with formula in the beginning before my milk came in. I let Connor try and eat for an hour and then fed him formula so I was letting him do his job and bring my milk in. That is the only formula he has ever had and I am very proud of that.

Now when he is gassy or super fussy it is a huge guessing game..What did I eat...What is wrong with him...Is he not eating enough...Am I not making enough. It is alot more stress than I realized. Not know how much he is getting is a constant concern and it drives me a little batty. Having to trust my instinct and knowing when my child is full is a little stressful. I am not sure if it is a control thing or what but I hate that part of breast feeding.

As easy as it would be to just say I give up and just give him formula. I know I am doing what is best for my child. Providing him the best nutrition for him. I am also really addicted to it, I love knowing that no matter what I can care for my child. He will always have food with me and having that special bond with him is something I really didn't have with Tristen.

Breastfeeding has been my biggest challenge but it has also been my biggest reward. Having faith is hard to do but when you let go and have faith everything always seems to work out

Through my Toddlers Eyes

I recently read an article that made me really think what life must be like through Tristen's eyes. As many of you know first hand living with a Toddler is not easy in the least. We are constantly running after them picking up the disaster they make, telling them NO when they get into something they are not supposed to and get frustrated when they discover a new thing to play with that is not theirs.

The article used the example of a toddler playing with the tape dispenser and instead of yelling no and taking the dispenser away they suggested to rip off the tape they have pulled out and say the tape is not for the toddler and putting it away. Letting them play with the tape because it is a new sensory experience and letting them explore is how children learn.

It made me think of the many times I have said no when T was doing something he was not supposed to instead of remembering he is just a toddler exploring his environment. For example the other day Tristen came running into the living room sooo proud because he got the coffee grounds out of the trash and they felt so neat on his hands...I of course flipped out because I knew my kitchen was now covered in coffee grinds. After reading this article it made me think how I could have handled that better and explained to him that the trash is not for him and then used the time to let him explore the coffee grinds, I mean he wasn't eating them I could have grabbed the art paper right there and let him "paint" with them. Plus it was my own fault for letting the trash get high enough for him to reach in and grab it. (Note: We do have a lid but it broke and we have yet to get a new one)

Sometimes it is hard to remember that they are just toddlers, 18 months old in my case, and just don't know better. They are not purposely trying to ruin your nice clean floors, they are just exploring their environment. I love reading articles like this because it brings me out of my "I am Mom" mode and helps me really look at the why my child does the things he does and how I can be a better parent.

http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/115208/stop_being_mean_to_your

Mommy bootcamp: Potty Training

So as I learn new things through the Mommy bootcamp I will post some tricks. We are back into potty training again, we got a little side tracked during the holidays. I had some tips from fellow mommies and learned somethings on my own. Below is a list of things that have helped out alot...so far

1. Baby Legs: They are leg warmers for boys and girls. They are one size fits all and come in a ton of designs. The reason I love these is because it keeps their little legs warm with out getting in the way when rushing to the potty. The faster we get to the potty and on the pot the more likely we are to pee in the potty not our diaper. (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003TY3OPW/ref=ord_cart_shr?ie=UTF8&m=AG32KV25K8B8A) Plus they are great on Connor as well. It saves time from having to pull off pants to change the diaper.

2. Bjorn potty: We got ours on Amazon.com. Too many people go out and get the expensive fancy singing potty and forget the focus is on peeing in the potty not sitting and being entertained by the musical chair. I can see why this may work for some people and if you have extra money to spend on one great but for all purposes this cheap potty does the trick. (http://www.amazon.com/BabyBj%C3%B6rn-055115US-BABYBJ%C3%96RN-Potty-Chair/dp/B000056J7L/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1295469233&sr=8-1)

3. Dollar store books: I have new ones rotating in the bathroom to keep him focused at the job at hand. I check out Targets dollar section and also the dollar store to keep things in our budget. T loves that each time he goes in there they are different books.

4. Pull ups: We do not use that as a teaching tool just as easy access in the rush to catch the pee in the potty. I do not think T understands the difference between pull ups and diapers. When we get the hang of things more than we will move to big boy pants.

5. Travel Potty: We have not used this yet but a neighbor of mine suggested to have it in the car when we are on the go. It looks like a great product to have and cheap (http://www.amazon.com/Kalencom-1730-blue-Potty-Blue/dp/B000F1MM2I/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1295469422&sr=8-6)

6. Piddle Pad: We also have not used this yet but got this tip from a fellow mom as well for when we are in full steam to prevent having to wash the car seat all the time. (http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Deluxe-Piddle-Black/dp/B0038JE3QC/ref=pd_sim_ba_5)

Well so far that is what I have, I am sure as we get further into the process I will have more.

Babies in Bloom

For those of you in the Oceanside Area there is this great little store called Babies in Bloom. It has a ton of great baby products, there are alot of great mommy and baby classes. They are a great support system for breast feeding mommy's and have a lactation consultant on hand for questions and support. They have a great section of learning toys, none of them make sound which is great because it forces the kids to be creative and make their own sounds. Below is their website, if you have time check them out.

I had gotten some potty training supplies there. Baby legs was the main purpose but the learning toys was a bonus. I had gotten T a wooden train, it has colored blocks on them so he can practice his choo choo sounds, colors, number (counting the blocks) and fine motor skills with the stacking. T was super excited about it he refused to eat lunch so he could play with it :)

http://babies-in-bloom.com/

Cry it out Method

We went for our monthly Dr appointment for Connor the other day. While discussing what was going on with him we talked about how he has not been sleeping well. We believed it is due to his stomach but the Dr suggested that he has just become used to using me to get his gas out and used to eating multiple times at night. So he said to start doing the cry it out method.

He advised us to feed him while he was sleepy right before we went to bed, which is about 10pm for me. Then he suggested to just let him cry if and when he wakes up to get him used to getting himself back to sleep. The way he said it made it sound so simple and easy. Like it was just a little event and in 3-4 days he would be sleeping 12 hours a night...Well I underestimated the power of my baby's cry!!!

The first night I fed Connor at 10pm and he ate for almost 40 minutes. I am thinking to myself "wow he is eating alot I doubt he wakes up at all...this is going to be so easy"...I am pretty sure I jinxed myself because at 4 am Connor woke up. Shane was there to help so he would rock Connor for 30 minutes but as soon as Shane laid him down he woke up screaming. So then I tried rocking for 30 minutes and the same thing happened.

After a little debate we choose to follow the Dr's instructions and just let him cry. He did pretty well, 10 minutes of crying and then slept for 20-30 min and then another 10 minutes of crying and sleeping 20-30 minutes. This went on until about 6:30am and then I fed him.

Night 2 was a whole different Ball game. First of all Shane was not home and secondly Connor had different plans for me than sleeping. I fed him about 11 pm last night thinking maybe if I fed him a little later he would sleep better. Instead he woke up at 3am. I put his binkie in thinking maybe he would go right out, but nope...this just pissed him off and he lost it. He finally stopped crying about 3:45 and slept until 4:20 and then the chaos began. Connor did not stop crying until 6:00am when I fed him again. No matter what I tried he would just get more upset. So I just laid in bed and cried.

Maybe the reason it is called the cry it out method has more to do with the Mommy crying than the baby crying.  I am hoping night 3 goes a little better. There is nothing harder than to listen to your baby cry out for you and to ignore it. I kept reminding myself he will not remember I am torturing him. He will love me anyway. He will be better for this. Sure enough soon after starting to feed him he looked up at me and smiled...Either to say "ha I won" or "I love you anyway mommy" I would like to think it is the second option :)

It takes a Village

Over the holidays my family and I went to Atlanta for 3 weeks to spend some quality time with my parents In Atlanta, GA. Normally we only see each other for a long weekend. So I thought why not spend a while there so my parents can really get to spend time with the boys.

It was nice having help with the boys. Having people want to hold them, want to take them on walks and wanting to help with bedtime. Normally during the day it is all on me and then at night my husband will help with dinner and bath. We share the responsibility but neither one of us gets a break. So it was nice having a night where I didn't have to do a thing. So needless to say it was a great Christmas!

When at the park with my dad and the boys I started chatting with a fellow mommy and when she realized I live in California her first response was "Oh my Gosh who helps you with the kids" I said well my husband and she said "No, who else!!" like she was shocked that my husband and I do it all.

It got me thinking on the phrase it takes a village to raise a child and how much that has changed since my mom was a parent. She had family living near by, lots of family. She knew her neighbors and they knew her. Now our family is ALL over the United States. I only have an Uncle in LA and Shane has an Aunt and Uncle even further than that. We are just now meeting and getting to know our neighbors after 9 months of being here. My biggest support is my Mother over the phone and the Internet full of friends and strangers offering support and advice. Funny how the village now is full of strangers and people all over the United States. Although I would kill to be in the same town as my parents. I know that my mom is only a phone call away and we are only a 5 hour flight if anything was so serious that she needed to be here.

I think there are so many pros and cons about the new village I wouldn't know where to start. All I know is it is working for us and when it doesn't we either fly my mom in, meet her somewhere or fly there. I also have alot of comfort in the fact I have great neighbors, friends and online support :)

Self Doubt

It is truly amazing how fast self doubt creeps in when you are a mom. I am constantly asking myself "is this the right thing to do" and "Am I screwing up here?" As much as I tell myself to just relax it just sneaks in.

I keep thinking that when the boys can start talking I will feel better. They can tell me what is wrong, what they want and what they do not. Although deep down I know that won't be the case. There will always be that little voice in the back of my head saying..."are you sure??"

Last night after a very stressful day and constant wondering if I was doing what I should as a parent I decided to take today as it came, no "parenting", no worrying, and no questioning myself. So I did, when Tristen started to cry because he wanted to go out instead of take a nap, we went out side. When Connor cried because he just wanted to be held I sat and held him. When Connor was screaming when I was trying to feed him I stopped and let him go to sleep. It was a nice break of the constant worry and questioning.

I know that if the boys are tired they will sleep, if they are hungry they will eat and to just live in the moment with them. Instead of trying to constantly teach them how to sleep, eat and act. I think sometimes I over parent, trying to mold them into "good" children instead of just letting them be...children.

So I am going to vow to take each day as it comes, treasure the moments and try my best to not let that sneaky self doubt creep in.

Welcome to the Club

I have recently felt like I have been accepted into this VERY exclusive club of breastfeeding mama's. I did not realize there was this club type mentality until I was not able to feed my first son Tristen for more than 2 months. I got frowns, criticisms and judgements when telling my story. I felt shunned by this exclusive club. On top of already feeling down on myself for losing my milk having the "club members" judge me felt even worse. I vowed at that moment to never make another mommy feel like that. I am always saying it is more important that a child is fed. I do not judge those who do not breastfed for whatever reason.

Saying that, this time around I have had alot more success feeding my second son Connor. We have been breastfeeding for almost 4 months now. It has been an up and down struggle but I truly enjoy it. I now get these looks from people when I am feeding him like I am now in a very exclusive club of mommies. I am very proud of my accomplishment and love the connection Connor and I share because of it. Having people accept me now as part of the breastfeeding club is a bonus that is for sure. I do not feel like I am judged as much when people know I breastfeed.

What is also amazing is the support I get, not only from fellow friends/family who have breastfed but also from amazing websites full of complete strangers who know what you are going through. It is like the saying "it takes a village to raise a child" It is so true but I think that village now include complete strangers all over the world.

I am proud to be in this club because this adventure has not been easy. I again do not look down on anyone who chose not to feed their child this way or couldn't. It is more important that the child is fed. Atleast to me :)

Taking a Time Out

Why is it so hard for us mommies to take a time out for ourselves. Could it be we are just too focused on our children to take a moment to think about ourselves. Could it be after running around all day we are just too tired to take a moment for ourselves. Could it be that we put ourselves at the bottom of the daily to do list and just never gets finished. I think it is all of the above, but I think that its so important that we do focus on ourselves a little bit each day.

This was my new years resolution. Take a hour everyday to focus on myself. How am I doing this you ask? I am going to go to the gym. I am finding myself being tired and sluggish with my children, so I drink coffee and soda to keep going. Which has made me unhealthy taking time off my life I am sure, which in turn takes me away from my children and possible grandchildren. I am personally not happy with the way I look which does not promote my children to have a positive self image if I cannot have one.

So this year I am taking an hour a day to get myself back. To give me more energy, to be healthier and happier.  Because I know that one hour every day will make me a better mommy, wife and woman. So I challenge all of you fellow mommies to force yourself to spend just an hour a day making yourself happy. I choose to workout but it can be reading, sitting in silence or something creative. Just put yourself at the top of the to do list for just one hour!

Gender Toys

For Christmas we decided to get Tristen a little play kitchen. He loves to play in our kitchen with the pots and pans and I wanted him to have something to play with that will allow him to play creatively. I didn't put another thought into getting him the kitchen until today when we went to go look at the kitchens to figure out which one I would like to get, I had such a hard time finding them in Toys R Us. Come to find out they are in the "girls" toys. I had to ask the sales associate where to find them and she even gave me a funny look because I had two boys with me. I never once put any thought that a play kitchen might be a "girl" toy.

It got me thinking if I planned on only doing gender "appropriate" toys. So far most of our toys are "boy" toys with balls, trucks, Lego's and other sports toys. When I was picking them out I don't believe I thought about them being "boy" toys but more about I knew my son would love to play with them.

We got him a stuffed Woody doll from toy story when we brought Connor home and refer to it as "his baby". It helped with the jealousy when I was feeding or changing Connor we would tell Tristen to go get his baby and feed or change him.  I would not have hesitated if he would want to play with with a barbie or a "girly" toy. I know Shane would question why a pink barbie was in the house but would not make a big deal about it. I wonder if other people would be as relaxed about it. It also got me thinking about Nature vs nurture when it came to gender roles as well, but I could discuss that forever!

I think having both gender toys are a good teaching tool. I am raising not only boys but, husbands and daddy's and one day those boys will need to learn to cook, care for a baby and take care of their wives and I think playing with "girl" toys helps reinforce those characteristics. Plus it maybe the only chance I have to have something pink instead of blue in my house ;)

Mommy Bootcamp: Terrible twos

So as we fastly approach the terrible twos I am learning how to parent through the tantrums, crying , lack of communication and endless screaming. There are a few things I am learning on the fly and a few things fellow mommies have helped me with.

One thing I must first say is EVERY CHILD is different and what works for one does not always work for the other. Too many parents judge one another and act like the way they parent is the only way...which is far from the truth. There are also too many parents that feel like a failure when a fellow parents suggestion does not work. So if what you are doing now does not work, try something new but do not think that you are a failure...you are not! It's like the saying "try...try and then try again".

So as I begin to parent a toddler and specifically a toddler going through the "terrible twos" I am learning along with my child. I feel like I am in Mommy bootcamp and each day is something new and challenging. One of the things I am learning on the fly is to pick and choose my battles. My toddler cannot begin to understand all the things I want him to. So I am picking and choosing what things to give in on and what things not to.

For example because of this whole bed bug issue the boys cannot sleep in their own rooms. Connor goes to bed about an hour before Tristen so he is fast asleep when Tristen wants to take his bath before bed. The issue is the bathroom is right next to where Connor is sleeping so to prevent Connor from waking up during Tristen bath we thought we would just give Tristen a bath in the downstairs tub...well Tristen acted like it was the worst thing on the entire planet and a HUGE tantrum ensued. I started to think is it really worth it to calm him down, explain to him that this is the only way and have him cry through the bath...no it was not. So I chose not to fight this one, if Connor wakes up he wakes up. In the end Connor did not wake up, Tristen had a fun bath and is now fast asleep!

A battle I will fight is hitting...period. We give a warning and explain to Tristen that hitting hurts and is not acceptable. If he continues...which he usually does he goes into time out for a minute and then he must say (show) he is sorry and we explain again hitting is not acceptable. Or screaming and crying when he does not get his way. I fully understand that the terrible twos have more to do with not being able to communicate than anything else. So I am patient through the screaming, have him tell me what he wants or point to what it is and most of the time it is something he can have. What I want to teach him is if he can calmly ask for what he wants he can have it. I figure by the time he can do that I can then explain if it is something he cannot and give him another option.

A suggestion I got from a fellow mommy is to divert his attention. One thing that works like a charm in a middle of a major melt down is to go outside and play. I am lucky enough to have a nice little backyard that he can run off that energy in. Usually after 30-60 minutes in the yard he is ready for a nice long nap. This strategy is good for the both of us. It can be sooo very stressful just sitting inside listening to a screaming kid, but getting outside in the beautiful California weather refreshes both of us and helps me stay focused on my wonderful child than getting caught up in the "terrible" twos.

It's funny because as soon as I think I have this Mommy thing down my kids throw me for a loop. I have learned in Mommy bootcamp never to get to comfortable, be patient, take time to marvel in the beauty of my children no matter what and to relax!

Woman Vs Bed Bugs

There are very few things that I let get to me and one of those things are bugs. I just hate them, I am sure in the big scheme of things they are necessary but I could live with out them. What I hate worse then bugs on me is bugs on my kids, it makes me freak out. A fly landed on Connor's eye once and I flew out of my chair to "protect" him like it was life or death. I ended up scaring the crap out of both my boys.

Just the other day Tristen woke up covered in what I thought were hives on his face. When the "hives" didn't go down after a few hours I started to think that maybe they were bug bites. I had suspected bed bugs for about 6 months now because he always looked "nibbled" on after naps and in the morning but I could never find a single bug and Tristen has always had really sensitive skin. I was a little shocked when I turned over the mattress to find a ton of bed bugs.

I called Orkin and scheduled a visit to get them killed, probably the only murdering I do not find offensive. The nice southern lady gave me a list of things I needed to do to get ready for the treatment. It did not sound like alot to do (maybe it was her sweet accent that sucked me in), just wash everything in the room that I could on high heat and dry for 2 hours. Everything I could not wash bag up and put outside.

As I started to tackle my first load of laundry I realized that maybe this was going to be a much bigger project that I expected. 1 load from start to finish was going to take me 2 and 1/2 hours.... Thus far I have done 7 loads start to finish ( 17 1/2 hours worth of laundry.... I have one in the washer, 1 in the drying and 7 more loads to go. To make matters worse that is only the boys stuff. If I have to wash all of the stuff in my room I am sure that is another 17 hours of laundry. Luckily as of right now I do not have to wash all of the things in my room

Once the Orkin man showed up I heard the worst words to a budgeting stay at home mom could hear..."Ohhh this could get expensive". 3 grand to be exact. I guess there is a heat treatment where they can heat the house to 160 degrees to kill any bed bugs that might be hiding in other rooms besides Tristens room. Since we could not find any bugs other than in Tristens room we picked the "cheaper" option of 650.00 for both kids room.

Now for the next 30 days no one can go in there, no clothes, no kids, no one...this puts a huge cramp in the sleeping arrangements in our house. Tristen is now in the office in a pack and play and Connor is in our room in a pack in play. I am feeling pretty defeated by a pin sized bug

At 1pm  I thought "man I have these bed bugs beat"... Now at 8 pm I am pretty sure the bed bugs won....

Venting

Today I am realizing how important venting is when you're a mom. I usually keep it all in and either forget why I was frustrated or swallow all the frustration and blow up later.

Today pushed me over the edge. After spending 3 weeks in Atlanta for the holidays the 4 of use boarded a 5 hour flight home, we barley survived and made it home frustrated and tired. I just went to bed early and never dealt with my frustration.

Then this morning the chaos begins. Tristen woke up with a face full of bumps. I thought maybe it was hives from crying so hard and didn't think much of it. As the morning continued quietly Tristen  pulled out a full sippy of milk and juice he hid before our trip making the house smell like rotten milk and fermented juice. After seeing the bumps on Tristens face still there at 10am I thought maybe something in his bed was biting him (a spider) After throwing the sheets over the railing I picked up his mattress  to get the bed skirt off and as I lifted the skirt I saw all the bed bugs!!! I ran down stairs to throw the sheets into the wash so the bugs did not spread. I called Terminix and set up an appointment for 2-4, At 4 I called them to see if they were running late...Nope they did not set my appointment. I just lost it. I had held all my frustration from the travel in and today's events just pushed me over the edge. I was  a wreck and I could see my temperament rubbing off on Tristen and Connor. Connor just cried the entire time he ate and Tristen was really concerned kept checking on me, throwing tantrums to get my attention and crying himself. After the boys were in bed I had time to think about what the situation really was and realized that if I had just vented I would not have taken it out on my kids.

As a mom we want to do it all and when we cannot we just beat ourselves up and this in turn does not help our children or spouses. It's so important that we are in touch with what is really making us upset and having a person you can just vent to. Get out all that emotion so you can be a good mother, wife and friend. I feel much better once I realize that in the big scheme of things bed bugs is not a big deal and its a lot easier to deal with that many other issues that could have went wrong. My kids are happy and healthy and that's all that really matters.