Perceptions are funny. Two people can look at the exact same thing at the same time and see something completely different. We bring along all of our experiences and use them to judge people and situations. Depending on what experiences we have we judge people positively or negatively.
The perceptions we have about ourselves are always off. Some people think they are hot when they are not and others do not realize how amazing they are. I did not realize how much perceptions plays at part into our daily lives until recently.
I have been struggling with my self image my whole life. As I was looking back at old pictures I remember thinking how horrible I looked and now looking at those pictures I would kill to have that body again. Now I am on the other side of the spectrum where I look at myself and all I see are the flaws, the imperfections, the wrinkles, added weight and marks my kids have left behind.
Why is it that as women we never see what we have and are grateful for it? My perceptions of myself effect most things in my life. I used to be really social but now my self image plays apart in my shyness when meeting new people. I am sure their perceptions of me are not what I think they are but the reel of self doubt always plays through my head when I see new people.
As kids we run around and when we come across a new face we are excited and we are friends instantly. Now as adults we question everything, why are they saying hi, who are they, what are they looking at, do they think I am ugly, are they judging me. Now making friends is a job not exciting like it used to be. I miss the simple days of when we were younger before perceptions crept in and we took everything at face value.
Sarah, I'm feelin' this post. Glad you're back to blogging :)
ReplyDeletep.s. I think you're beautiful ;)
ReplyDeleteOh my beautiful Sarah! You write so amazingly from the heart! It is true that women are so hard on themselves, and as I grow older, I am learning to be much more accepting, and to give myself grace. All you have to do is look at your beaming smile when you are with your boys, and your beauty shines through! Motherhood DOES age us! It has to! But you are still adorable, and if you want to change the way you look, stay focused on your goal. Of course it is hard daily, past day one.....otherwise it wouldn't be a goal! Hang in there, but remember, that you are BEAUTIFUL in our eyes! Trust others, don't assume the worst. Everyone just wants to love and be loved....
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